Where’s My Inspirational New Year’s Post?

Did you miss it?

One of a thousand blog posts telling you, inspiring you, challenging you to make 2011 the best year ever?

Did you miss ours?

No.

We didn’t post one.

Many blogs I frequent use the new year as a way to inspire and challenge their readers to new heights. To set goals and press ahead toward the thing they desire most.

This is all good, and for some, a well-deserved and needed kick in the shorts, but….

I’m going to let you in on a secret. I had no goals in 2010. My 2009 was a lot of highs and lows, and my hopes going into 2010 were pretty much to hope to stay alive and not screw anything else up. Well, 28 days into the new year I laid off my entire staff and 2 months later watched our household turn over as my wife went back to work full time and I became the primary caregiver for my kids. So much for an up-and-coming CEO with visions for a 9 figure company, huh?

It became a year of just accepting fate and dealing with whatever life brought. My mind was defeated and my hopes for the future were pretty much shot.

Day by day I processed this phenomenon that was happening to me and questioning what went wrong and why. I thought I successfully got “fixed” in 2009, so I totally did not understand what was happening to me in 2010.

So did I accomplish anything last year?

On paper, you could argue I regressed, but if you look beyond what people normally evaluate, I accomplished a great deal.

First and foremost, I fell in love with my wife and daughters all over again. I discovered a sincere joy in being able to do things for my family that 99% of dads will never get to do. How many dads get to spend every morning and afternoon with their kids? How many dads get to solve hair issues and hunt for matching clothes at 7am? How many dads get to drive carpool and shuttle kids to activities and get to know their kid’s friends?

How many husbands have a talented wife that is so extremely valued by her employer they put her on the company’s “top ten list”? How many husbands could boast that their marriage was made STRONGER during a time when the husband could no longer bring home the bacon and pay the bills? How many couples discover the amazing reality that a wife and mother are not defined by the tidy-ness and smooth operation of the household and that a husband and father are not defined solely by the money he brings in the pay for the mortgage and grocery bills?

I discovered a deep, satisfying JOY in my “new role” and my wife experienced a joy in her new role. It wasn’t fun or joyful at first for either of us, and I admit I sincerely hated it, but through grace and reflection, we really sincerely developed a love, peace, and joy we never had in our family – even when we’re still challenged in these roles.

How about me? Well, for the first time in my life, I stopped being self-righteous and exhibiting false humility. I began to fall in love with myself and for the first time in my life, believed with 100% certainty in the goodness of my heart. I starting living out of who God says I am, not by who others say I am. I’ve tuned out the voices that tell me I’m a failure, those calling me a bad business man, and all the other false accusations. I no longer seek to please or appease others to make them like me or try not offend them. I’m living out of who God says I am, and I am trying to relate to others in the same way.

I discovered that for those that love me the most, including my Father in heaven, that I’m not valued for what I do but for who I am. Knowing this truth frees you from all kinds of shame and guilt. I no longer have to please others or please God by doing things. I no longer have to appease and perform to gain love and acceptance from them, and I no longer demand this of others. Everything I do now flows out of love and my heart, not out of expectations, rules, or obligations.

My discoveries about Grace and Love and the nature of God were frequent topics of my writings in 2010, and the greatest joy of all was that I discovered all God really wants with me is a relationship, and that everything flows out of love, not obligation. The years of guilt and shame that religious thinking brought to me were erased and for the first time in my life, I discovered true freedom. And the best part is, my wife found it too. So we get to start a new journey together and can share it with our kids while they are still young.

Business-wise? We discovered who were are. We discovered who we were not. We have made hundreds of mistakes and made all kinds of bad choices over the years in regards to business. Many of those choices and actions manifested themselves in the business results and we suffered the consequences financially. However, failure is only devastating if you believe it’s an end rather than a start. You see, failure is a necessary part of growth. There’s no way around it. I cannot find a single successful person that doesn’t have a sting of failures, professionally, personally, or financially in their history. These people are successful because they embraced the failures, learned from them, and intentionally put aside the shame and guilt of these past failures and pressed forward into the future.

This year, I am focused, the company is focused. We know who we are, and we’ve got one specific thing we’re focusing in on for us and our clients. This focus and clarity only came about through a tremendous trial period and it’s been worth every second. The future is bright.

So that’s my 2010. A year (on paper) where nothing much happened actually turned out to be the most transformational and exceptional year of my life.

So now as we’re 6 days into 2011, I have a lot of hope. I know 2011 is going to introduce new challengs and new opportunities. Many have not embraced the adversity and processes they’ve gone through in the past few years and will not be able to press ahead in this new season, but I am confident in myself that all these events over the past few years for me have been a proving ground to allow me to see dreams fulfilled this year and into the future.

Let me leave you with this…..

On New Year’s Day, I watched Oprah interview JK Rowling. I know many Christians dismiss Oprah and they dismiss Harry Potter and JK Rowling. My religious mind did for many years as well. That’s a topic for another day. All I can say is I’ve been spellbound by this interview and am really digging the God-breathed message she delivered to Harvard graduates in 2008. JK’s story is one of restoration and a discovery of who God said she was. Her story, and her books are dripping with God. You can’t miss it unless you want to.

Please read this speech. The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination – JK Rowling at Harvard 2008

If you have time, check out the articles and snippets on Oprah’s web site:
The Brilliant Mind Behind Harry Potter and OPRAH AND HARRY POTTER PHENOM BILLIONAIRE J.K. ROWLING

My wish for you in 2011 is simple – to start living out of who God says you are. I bless you with the Love, Peace, and Joy that is promised for all God’s children TODAY through the amazing redemptive work of Christ.

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The Year Of Being Reborn Part 2

Continuing my post from yesterday…

…I wasn’t sure what he exactly meant by rest, but somehow I immediately sensed 2 things – I was going to be taking off time from the business, and I was going to be taking time away from being a deacon at my church.

Upon returning home from a one night stay in the hospital, and receiving an all-clear on my heart, I began my rest. I don’t think I ever slept as much in my adult life. I’d wake up in the morning, eat, read, and nap. In the afternoon, I’d take a walk, eat, and nap. At night, I’d watch TV, eat, and go to bed. This went on for 2-3 weeks.  It’s like my body just did nothing but crave rest, and my wife, family, and staff supported me.  Thank you for this gift, everyone.

During this time, I made decisions to start being healthy again.  I began walking several miles a day, began drinking a lot more water, and started eating right (stopped all those carbs, excessive sweets, and multiple glasses of wine). Since then, I’ve lost 25 pounds and my walking has turned to running. I now run about 10-15 miles per week. I feel great, in fact, my health is better now than in any time in the last 10 years.

But, September 28 was not the “bottom”. The business ran while I was gone for 6 weeks, but the bleeding that began in June of 2009, didn’t stop and things finally hit bottom in January of 2010, ironically, on the 28th.  On that day, Matt, I, and our CFO decided we could no longer bleed cash, and I made the call to lay off my entire staff.  I thought September 28 was a bad day, how about shattering the hopes and dreams of a half-dozen people that I cared deeply about?

I sat there in shock.  How the hell did we get to this point?  Was I a failure?  Did I do something wrong?  Was it my staff? Was it our clients?  Was it me? Would we make it? What would everyone think? What’s going to happen next?

Listen, to a proud man like me, being stripped of my identity as a provider, a successful entrepreneur, a leader in our church, a nationally recognized author and speaker, and former profitable business owner was like losing my life.  But like a good Papa, a trip was in line for me to spend 5 days with my earthly dad in Florida.  It was the worst time to go, but also the best time to go.  It turns out those 5 days were critical in my recovery.  I learned more about my dad, my family, and myself than I could have ever done at home. I wrote about my experience back in the spring.

In March, when finances for our family got to a critical stage, Father blew us away.  Talk about answered prayer (but not giving us what we asked for)  Father orchestrated an opportunity for my wife at her work. She was offered a significant promotion and a hefty raise – an amount that almost exactly covered our monthly expenses.  What this meant for us though, was that she’d now have to leave at 5:30am and get home at 5:00pm 5 days a week.  It meant that I would now become Mr. Mom, and be responsible for getting the girls ready for school, making breakfast, packing lunches, getting kids on and off the bus, helping with homework, coordinating play dates, taxiing kids to activities, and being one of the only men in our neighborhood that does this.  Talk about an identity crisis!

But here’s the best part.  I had been praying for a few years for Father to help me be a better dad – to help me get more time with my girls.  Ha!! More answered prayer, but don’t you love the sense of humor Father has?  I have all the time in the world to be with my girls now  For me, I work from 8:30 to 3:00 and that’s it.  I’ve got to be totally disciplined to be productive, and I get to spend more time with my kids than ever.  AND I’M LOVING IT!!

As I describe this, it’s such a high-level summary.  It doesn’t have the peaks and valleys I lived from day to day.  There are months, and months, and months of process on this. Too much to write about, but let’s just say all these things have been used to take my old identity, burn it up, remake it, and birth a new person.

Something else has happened even greater – I discovered my Father. No, not my dad, my Father. Daddy, Papa, Father God. I discovered that I had 2 fathers – and earthly dad, and a heavenly Daddy. I learned I was a son of Most High God, and a King, a Priest, and a Prophet. I got to know who God is as a person, not just a inpersonal force. I wrote about that here

Do you know how amazing it is to discover Father as Daddy? To be loved without condition and given the rights of sonship in his Kingdom? I haven’t even begun to peel this back and I’m already overwhelmed. I have been shedding all this religious garbage I have been collecting for years, and gotten to the core of Father’s heart – to be in me, and to share life together.

Today is September 28, 2010, and I will not be in my office, I will be on assignment in Baltimore, MD. Instead of lying in a hospital bed, this year, I am spending time with Matt and a new client which is one of the most successful information marketing companies in the world. A client we could have only dreamed working with.

Here’s the best part.  ?Neither Matt or I had anything to do with this, but I knew it was coming because of a supernatural moment.

I’ll explain what I mean in my next installment.  You aren’t going to believe this story.  I still can’t believe it, and I’m sitting here in a Baltimore hotel living it!!

…To Be Continued….

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Video from Jim Robbins – Loss Of Identity

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Jim Robbins is a former pastor, turned writer, who writes for those who are hungry for more –wanting restoration of heart and life — and aren’t satisfied with pop Christianity. It’s not about morality (as good as that is) or right behavior and sin management. It’s about something else. A restored heart. Learn more about Jim and his writings at www.robbinswritings.com

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