Why Your Best Sex And Time With God Are The Exact Same Thing

Have you ever had really great sex with your spouse? I mean really great sex. It’s like the world stops. That the two of you are all alone and that nothing, not even the second coming could interrupt the two of you, getting busy.

Then it’s done, it’s gone, but what is left is the memory of the moment.

Usually great sex is not planned. It happens in a moment of spontaneity. Before kids it was from being stuck in a rain storm, or in the middle of the afternoon.

After kids it doesn’t happen that often, but when it does it’s even more special. It usually happens when all of the sudden the house is empty because the kids are all away on a sleep over, you and the spouse get an overnight in a hotel or one afternoon the house is empty.

If you are in the hotel, ou don’t want to leave, just hanging out with each other talking about nothing or watching some old movie from your high school days.

Planned sex is never as good. Why? Because it’s planned. It’s wedged in between making dinner, putting the kids to bed and going to sleep. You put it into your schedule like an appointment with your dentist. It’s cold, not as wonderful and usually mechanical. Just like going to the dentist.

Now don’t get me wrong, there have been times when my wife and I have planned an evening out. Away from the kids and one thing leads to another. Yippee.

Those are few and far between. Our most wonderful moments of intimacy (sexual and non sexual) are when we just enjoy each others company. When we walk hand in hand. Enjoying a moment or the blue sky or just a cup of coffee on a busy street.

If our most wonderful moments of intimacy with the one we love are unplanned, then why do we plan our time with God?

You might want to let that question sink in before you continue.

Church on Sunday, Bible study groups, life groups, men’s groups, women’s groups, worship time, getting up early to “Get into the word”. All these are planned activities that get in the way of true deep intimacy. All of this is like planned sex. It’s akin to the Dunkin Donuts guy saying “Time to go make the donuts.”

So how does one cultivate or develop deep intimate times with the Lord?

First off, stop scheduling it. Anyone who tells you that you gotta get up early to make time for God should be stoned, tarred and feathered. My wife, my kids, my dog and even God doesn’t want to talk with me first thing in the morning.

I haven’t brushed my teeth, had no coffee and lets face it, I’m grumpy.

Next, while Bible study groups are nice, it’s another form of forced fellowship. What if you just had lunch with some buddies and talked about life. Leave the Bible in the car. It scares people and makes you look like Flanders from the Simpsons.

Am I telling you to stop you Bible study group? No. But in my conversations with many believers who have been through the wilderness, they all share a similar story. Their bible study group became dry, boring and wasn’t relevant to their issues. They all found that cutting out planned activities led to a deeper, personal intimacy with the Lord.

Take a walk, leave the Ipod at home and just enjoy his presence. Grab a glass of wine and read Romans. Feel the presence of the Lord while watching golf, football, baseball or when you do the dishes.

God is everywhere. Why not just enjoy Him no matter where you are?

I’ll end with this thought. Christians need to learn to relax. When we accepted Christ, we entered into freedom. Not some form of Jesus plus, where we can only be close to Christ is we serve in a soup kitchen or go on a mission trip to Haiti.

Why not go on a mission trip to Wal-Mart? Why not walk the aisles and love the Wal-Mart mom spanking her kids. Ask Jesus to show you how to love her, even if you never speak to that person?

Folks, our relationship with God is not something to be planned, executed and structured. Discover again to practice spontenaity in your relationship with the Lord and with you spouse.

Beside, in the case of your spouse, you might just discover that sex can be great again.

Let the fireworks begin.

Matt Gillogly

PS. If you think I’m off my rocker and need to be prayed over, I suggest you go buy and read a great book. Practice The Presence Of God. Written by a French Monk in the 13th or 15th  century.

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The Skinny On Fasting

Brought to from our new favorite guys, The Skit Guys.

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What does spending time with God look like?

As some of you might have caught in my Facebook updates a week or so ago, I got a generous 40th birthday gift from my parents.  My dad spends 2 winter months in Florida every year and he flew me down to spend 5 days with him.  For whatever reason, this was the first time we’ve ever done something like this alone – meaning not with my mom, my wife or kids, or any of my siblings.  Just the two of us.

With a great amount of turmoil going on in my business, it was both the worst and perfect time to step away for 5 days.  Looking back, it was 5 days well spent.

Getting 5 days alone with your dad at age 40 is really a gift.  My dad is still young, in his early 60′s, but nearly lost his life in his 50′s to heart issues.  It was a struggle for many years – in and out of hospitals, lot’s of tweaking of medicines, and advances in medical technology – finally leading back to a new normal lifestyle, one that involves travel, golf, fishing, and playing with grandkids.  God is good.  Of course, with my recent heart scare and realization of my handling of stress, I’ve discovered through my medical tests and appointments that I indeed have the same genetic makeup of my father. Basically we share the same kind of heart. you might see where I am going with this.  I might have to expand on that in another post sometime.

As we spent time eating (I mean, a lot of eating), walking the beach, playing golf, and just sitting down and talking about our lives, it struck me how simple and wonderful that is.  Spending time with your dad – very loose agenda, no scripts, no routines – just time.  As I drifted off to sleep one night, I was thinking about this and I began to recall the thousands of times I have heard my fellow Christian brothers and sisters, and many teachers and leaders say, “I (or YOU) need to spend more time with God” and to no one’s surprise, what they meant was, “I need to find more time to sit down and read the Bible and find out what he wants me to do”.  Perhaps this also means they need time to sit down and pray as well.

For the longest time I’ve believed spending time with God was exactly that.  Reading the Bible and closing with prayer.  Badda bing, badda boom.  Now, on with my day.

As I sit here now, I can attest that a “devotion time” is useful for learning truths, being inspired with new ideas, and being convicted of thoughts, actions, behaviors that might need to be changed.  But how intimate can devotions really be when your whole goal in the process is “to learn what God wants from me?”.

As Christians, we believe that God the Father is alive – he’s real.  Jesus – he’s alive.  The Holy Spirit – he’s inside of us.  So with these 3 living beings desiring to be close to us – How offensive is it to ignore God and only spend time reading about what he did hundreds and thousands of years ago in a book?  How silly would it have been, for me to spend 5 days with my dad who was sitting with me, eating with me, walking with me, and enjoying time with me by sticking my nose in a book about him and trying to learn what he wants from me?  In most societies, this would be considered RUDE and offensive.  It would be especially offensive to do this to your dad, your wife, or your kids.  All my dad wanted to do in those 5 days was to enjoy being with me.  And that’s what we did!  Wouldn’t our heavenly Father really want the same thing?

I’m not saying stop reading the Scriptures, but what I am saying that we need to realize that spending time with Father cannot be accomplished by Bible study.  Yes, we can learn more about him, but when he’s sitting beside you constantly, and is always speaking, by getting your nose out of the book and realizing he’s actually a very nice companion, who loves to sit with you when you work, when you relax, when you are active, when you are walking, when you are eating – you actually start to LIKE God and get to know who he is first hand!  Not what you learned about him in a book, but actually experience a relationship with him and get to know him personally!

I’ve discovered that a Christian lifestyle is not a set of routines – daily devotions, weekly Bible study group, pray before meals, devotions after meals, church twice on Sunday, volunteering at church, doing ministry, etc.  All these are disciplines, but they lack intimacy.  Until we can embrace the concept of spending time with God is literally every second of the day, we’ll never really relax and enjoy the person that he is. After all, the Scriptures are only meant for one thing – to inspire us to discover who the Father, the Son, and his Spirit are.  Don’t miss it like the Pharisees did – all they did was read and obey the Scriptures, but totally missed Jesus right in front of them.

My prayer for you is that you experience this for yourself like I have.  Learn to simply enjoy time with your Father.  Laugh with each other, cry with each other, walk with each other, work with each other, love with each other, and even eat with each other.  It’s not a routine, it’s life.  I hope you learn like I have that God’s goal for me is not to do a bunch of tasks for his kingdom.  That’s meant for slaves or employees.  It’s to have a relationship with each other and as my Father, his desire (like my earthly father) is that I live a life of joy, fulfillment, peace, and love.  He’s there with you every step of the way.

I’d love to hear what you think, please leave your comments here or on our Christian Business Daily Fan Page on Facebook.

Peace.

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