Watching A Friend Go Through Hell

” If you are going through hell, walk faster.” – Winston Churchill

I don’t remember the day exactly, but I remember the time, place and situation. Bob and I were attending an event in New Jersey put on by our good friend Dan Straton. Instead of attending a dinner party that night with some of the attendees, Bob and I decided to go to dinner at a local Italian joint. You know the kind, great food, small place, reasonable prices.

We had just experienced another interesting day.  That day was payroll day. We knew we had to meet payroll of $20,000 and that we were woefully short. All our avenues had dried up. We’d used all our back up plans long ago on other payrolls. We expected to get a call that day from the payroll company saying payroll didn’t come through. Instead, no calls, no emails and payroll funded.

How it was funded we’ll never know. We just know it was funded.

As Bob and I sat down for dinner, ordered a bottle of wine, I could tell the weight on Bob’s shoulders was immense. Bob carries a tremendous amount of responsibility. He likes to make sure everyone is taken care of before him. It’s an admirable trait, but one that will kill an entrepreneur.

We poured some wine and toasted/thanked God for making payroll. We kind of chuckled and settled down to a relaxing dinner. It was at that point, the Lord started showing me some stuff. Not in visions, but in the way He talks to me. I can’t explain it, other than I’ve come to know His voice.

“Tell Bob it’s gonna be a tough summer.” At first I didn’t want to share this with my friend. I had hope upon hope, that Bob would not have to go through this journey of death to old beliefs.  I was hopeful that my experiences and my partnership with Bob would allow Bob to live through me and my experiences.  I foolishly thought, “Well Bob was one of only a handful of people to stay with me through my ordeals, so maybe he won’t have to go through his own.”

Wrong.

I knew that night in the deepest part of my soul, Bob was getting to go through his own hell on earth.

I looked up from the bread and wine, looked at Bob in the eye and said, “It’s going to be a tough summer, but Papa wants you to know He has it all under control.”

Bob’s response was “Okay, so it’s only going to last through the summer? That’s good. I can handle that.”

Except I don’t think God said which summer it would end. Little did I know that before October hit, my friend would be in the hospital.

In hindsight, I did Bob a disservice. I knew at that time what God was showing and telling me. That Bob was going to go through his own wilderness. That God was going to deal with Bob in his own loving style. I knew at that time, the business would change dramatically, Bob would no longer be the provider and that everything Bob wanted and built would be turned upside down.

Little did I know.

As a friend, I want to protect my friends from going through the stuff I had to experience. I don’t want it for my friends, my family, my wife or my children. I wish my experiences would be enough and that I could be their surrogate.

But, God doesn’t work that way. To do that would deprive the ones I love so much from being in a deep intimate relationship with Daddy. Each person has to go through this kind of stuff in their lives. There is no way around it. Sure you can fight it, or fix it yourself, but that only prolongs the time in hell. The way to walk faster is to let God do with you as He must.  I fought and spent years in my own hell on earth.  Long painful years, that still hurt today.

Bob on the other hand. Well, all I did was love him through it. Sure I would talk with him, tell him what I was seeing and hearing from Papa, but I knew he wouldn’t hear it completely. He had to go through it alone. My role, not to fix it, him or give him a bunch of scripture, but to walk with him through the hell.

I’ve had to do this with my wife, Bob and now I’m watching some very close friends go through some incredibly painful things. Divorce, job loss and a friend of mine who makes so much money that he plays golf 3 times a week, yet is so completely unfulfilled that he is going numb. (Not all wilderness experiences are about being broke.) All going through their own private journey through hell.

The cool thing is to love them through the process. To gently exhibit the fathers love even in the crappy times. To bring laughter to the situation and most of all love. (Did I mention love yet?)

In a Home Depot, fix it yourself world, where we have all the answers there is but a few things we can do for our friends when life hits em right between the eyes.

Cast of judgment. Stop sharing scriptures or Joel Olsteen books. But just be a friend who loves unconditionally. Buy them a cup of coffee, some breakfast or a laugh. Oh and love them, unconditionally. Which means, don’t fix em! Just love.

It is the most wonderful gift a friend can give a friend.

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Apple Picking With God

Every year, the Gillogly family of Charlotte, NC takes a day trip up to the Western NC mountains to go apple picking.  We stumbled upon this by accident one year and ever since it’s one of the highlights of our year.

We plan the Fall season around this day. Sometimes we go camping, (but now that Meghan is 15, that’s kind of off the table.) sometimes we leave early go apple picking, then hiking and back that night.

Last year, in the midst of a horrible season in our life, we were blessed with one of the most spectacular days in the NC

mountains. A perfect blue sky, cool temps and wonderful apples. It was one of those days, on a limited budget and barely enough gas money, that God gave our family a lasting memory.

It’s that time of year again, but things are a bit more hectic in a different way. Business is going well, our family is turning the corner financially, the kids seem to have weathered the storm beautifully and Sarah and I are doing much better in so many ways.

Life is so busy, that it seems like our apple picking trip may be in jeopardy. Until today.

You see, I have become so busy, that some of my old self is coming back out. I’ve been trying to make things happen again in business. Setting goals, manifesting my destiny, forgetting that God is right there and basically just being human. Until Bob told me to lighten up, take a nap and chill out.

Under his direction and the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I spent a large part of today, just hanging out. I went looking through old pictures and found this one.

It’s of my youngest son Colin on the left and me on the right. As you can see, we are pulling the apple cart full of, what else, apples. Well in reality, I’m pulling, Colin is really getting in the way, but he is insistent that he hold onto the wagon and help pull.

He’s really no help at all, in fact, he’s just getting in the way. Pulling apple carts full of apples in the mountains is not an easy job. It’s very hard. Having Colin helping me is hurting not helping.

I remember how frustrated I got with Colin on that day. All internal. (Luckily my external edit button was on.) But this picture got me to thinking. How my life is today vs. how it was just a year ago. How in just one year, I’ve forgotten that God is really pulling the apple cart and I’m just getting in the way.

A year ago, I was more willing to walk in his presence. To let him guide me or take my hand and lead me. Over the past two weeks, not so much. It’s been more about me and less about him. Kind of like Colin trying to help me pull the cart. Me being Colin.

Really God doesn’t need me to do anything. He doesn’t need my help in marketing, He just needs me to be open to the possibilities. He doesn’t need me to strive, but rather to love. He needs me to be receptive what he sends my way and be willing to work the gifts he sends, instead of complaining.

It’s a delicate balance, one I’m sure I’ll never master, but this picture says so much to me about our relationship with Daddy. He’s always there willing to do the heavy work, if we let Him. Problem is, we never let him. Or at least that’s how I feel most of the days.

I forget that Daddy is way more powerful, loving, caring and knows what I need.  Instead of my plans, my details and my agenda, Daddy’s is way better. Instead of my effort and getting in His way, all I have to do is walk beside Him. Sure it would be nice to have my hand on the wagon and help pull, but in reality, I just get in the way.

Time to get that apple picking trip scheduled.

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What If All We Did Was Pray?

I’ve often wondered what would of happened in the 1940′s if when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor if our only response was to pray.

It’s safe to say we’d be speaking Japanese on the West Coast.

What about the boys who landed on Normandy. When they hit the beaches, all they did was pray.

Or if during the Battle of the Bulge, our troops, instead of fighting back, decided to pray.

I don’t doubt the soldiers did pray, but they also took action. They conquered. I think, while they were firing their gun, they were praying at the same time.

There is a scene in the beginning of Saving Private Ryan that sums this up fairly well.

During the opening scene, the directors cut back and forth between two soldiers. One is forward on the beach, with a sniper rifle and he is reciting verses while he is zeroing in on the Germans. His intent is to kill, so his platoon can advance and accomplish their mission.

As the directors cut back, they show a solider on the beach in Normandy. He is on his belly, waves splashing over him, his rifle on his back, he is face down in the sand. His rosary is in his hands and he’s praying the rosary over and over again.

Cut back to the sniper and you see him killing his target.

Every time I see that scene, I think it’s the perfect montage of what it means to be a warrior in the field of battle. One guy is scared so he stops and prays, the other is scared and he prays and takes action. Accomplishing his goal of killing the enemy.

What if all the soldiers stopped and prayed on the beaches that day? Well Europe would be speaking German and Hitler would have been able to accomplish his final solution of killing more Jews.

I am not suggesting one solider is better than the other. That is not my point.

My point is we have become over focused on prayer. We in America have become soft. We are wimpy Christians. We pray, but we don’t act. We wait for the voice of God and wonder why our country, schools, neighborhoods and families are going to hell in a hand basket.

I’ll tell you why. No one wants to get into the battle. They all wanna be safe or sit around and pray.

Phewy.

I have an idea. Let’s pray and conquer. Let’s stop being the guy on the beach saying the rosary and start being like the sniper, praying while we conquer.

Matt

PS. I found this montage of the sniper scenes from Saving Private Ryan. Please be warned this video is very graphic, but it makes my point. Please do not watch if you think you’ll be offended, but if you want to see how to pray and conquer, enjoy.

Popularity: 59%

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